Pulled this little piece for you from the archives. Is that cheating on my 31 days? Maybe. But I’m doing it anyways, because believe me when I say, this is exactly how I feel tonight.
Sometimes, when the dog won’t sit still, when he keeps dropping his tug toy on my computer keyboard or knocks my book out of my hands, we go for a walk at night.
Now, while there is a spring chill in the air, I throw on whatever clothes are closest. Tonight it is my oversize old navy sweat pants, my blouse from work, and my ever present black down vest. And my birkenstock sandals.
I put his leash on and out the door we go. He always, always, always tries to pull me down the first staircase we pass. Shawn takes him down those stairs to throw a tennis ball.
I grab one of those handy disposable bags from the dispenser and stuff it in my pocket. Even though we are only walking around the neighborhood, I still bring my keys and my phone. Pockets are very important when walking the dog at night.
We soon settle into our usual cadence. The dog is constantly looking to the right and to the left, walking his leash in circles around my legs, and I am moving the leash back and forth around my waist trying to keep up. I can anticipate his moves, now, and I do it without thinking.
I look up. Under the glare of the streetlights, the black sky has a strange orange hue. You can see just a few stars. I think about what I saw, lying on my back on a dock in Northern Minnesota. The milky way; one large bright glittery strip across the sky, so many stars jammed together that the sky couldn’t possibly be black. The sky looks different, one night to another.
I breathe. Out here, in the fresh air, my mind seals up my day, stamps it done, and sends it off. I process work, my thoughts, my expectations, but not in the over-analyzing manic way I do inside. As we walk in and out of the streetlights, our shadows moving in circles around us, I acknowledge my day and then let it go, letting my mind look ahead to tonight, to sleeping, and to waking up tomorrow to a new day.
Back inside, we have both settled down. I climb back into bed and pick up my book, and the dog settles down next to me. Still breathing hard, but with body and mind at rest.